Debbie1973

Second Chances

Does a person deserves to have second chances?  How many times?  Will you get tired of forgiving and trusting?  How will you say its over? and when will you stopped trusting?

Most people would say that one of the most essential part of relationship is trusting,  what if this is gone? Is it right to keep on waiting?   I have learn to depend to someone whom i thought will be mine forever, but i guess every story has its end. and mine ended earlier than expecting……

December na naman at ito na naman ang panahon where people shared love to each other, but this is the same month i have felt being alone and lonely. Gone and no one to go to.  Well sabagay ganun talaga. At least i know na its over and what am hoping for is not the same person..  I can say the pain is over though there are still traces of the past but i can easily say na tapos na un…  I can face him saying "i dont need you" , and "kaya ko na ito".

Kala ko hindi ko kaya but after 3 yrs.. kaya ko pala.. salamat na lang sa Panginoon at di ako iniwan at sympre sa mga kaibigang di nagsasawang dumamay sa akin.  I am no longer a girl that will run over something that left me nor will cry over spilled milk… God thank you for so many times You have never leave me and so many times you have made me feel i am special..so special in many many ways..

Sa mga darating pang panahon, i will keep on trusting you Lord and  will hope for what ever lies to me in the future

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Who is the real me?

Others would describe me as a funny person…adviser… thinker…
fun to be with..

But would they know the real me?

There are a lot of times when I am alone… I would think of the  things I have gone through.. What mistakes I have
committed and what should I have done instead… Yeah it’s hard.. Sometimes the
pain would almost kill me… The pain of unsuccessful marriage… The pain of
loosing a friend…The pain of falling in love that I know would be impossible…

If you would see me … People would think that am just doing
fine.. Always have a ready smile for everyone…. But  if I am alone…loneliness
starts and I would cry….. Missing my dad… I hate crying …I feel so weak. Helpless…

Someone told me that I need to cry so that it would relieve me of my hurts..

Maybe yes it would help me…

Soon…

I would just wish that I can regain myself…

My whole being…

Soon

Hope It would not be late

FRIEND- a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter:

FRIENDSHIP - the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person’s friendship.

They said friendship is the foundation of a wonderful relationship…
Is this true???   Maybe yes. maybe no..

I had a friend. maybe he just came in time in which i need someone to talked to.. someone  who  can join me to watch movie. etc… my buddy, textmate and phone pal…  We become so close that we can actually tell anything and not ashamed of it…  We can be stupid.. crack our own joke and laugh at it..  FRIEND
Suddenly a different feeling comes along in which i myself cant explain.. I am starting to fall in love with my buddy…  Afraid of what will his initial reaction would be…
He is not yet ready to love because he just broke with his gf, her gf for 9 yrs… but he is saying he is happy with me, and would not want to loose this kind of friendship…
I then decided to accept the fact that we are just FRIENDS….
Where we can be ourselves, without reservations…

Sad? nahhh
why sad when i gain a buddy, a friend, a best friend

Buddy i love you dude!!!!

RELATIONSHIP—- helpful or damaging?
As you read this you would understand why am i thinking that way….
I was married for 11 years.. i thought i have a perfect and happy family. But i guess every dream must come to an end…
I was married at the age of 20 (am pregnant then). I never insisted on getting married but since he said he loved me so we got married.. though the very first year of our marriage his honesty and truthful is being tested, i caught him with another girl. he said his sorry but it never ended in that. another girl came and ended and the first one came in again, and so fort and so fort… I feel so stupid believing this guy would change and have love  me as i loved him but i guess  I AM DEFINITELY WRONG…
I have learned to sacrificed a lot for him, ignored my family: my mom, brothers and sisters… and its  very painful for me. I can still remember the soap PANGAKO SA IYO tata isko… you know what i still imagine to loved him even his condition would likely similar to TATA ISKO…
One day Dec 2004 he suddenly says to part our own ways cause he was  just staying with me because of our children..SHIT!!!!!
I know he had another girl but he would’nt admit it.  The sad part is we separated at the time that i dont have a job and dont have even a single penny in my pocket…
But God proves that He is faithful He gave me a job… The KIds stayed with me..
And now i guess am recovering from that tragic marriage…
But i would admit i cant open my heart to another man.. am afraid that it might fail again.. or who would get a woman with 4 kids?
ANyways am happy and contented…
If someday I would have another man in my life   would still love him but  i would remember to keep a portion for me.
In this tragic event, friends are very helpful and i am so thankful…. Guys i all owe you one…
And you (X) one day you will miss me and would say to yourself ‘I CAN NEVER FIND ANOTHER WOMAN LIKE LOUISE,!!!! iT’S YOUR LOST NOT MINE….